


"I expected more from a robot mercenary"

by kwassoint



Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst, Crack, Dystopia, Dystopian future with supernatural elements?, How Do I Tag, Mercenaries, Mild Gore, Pop Culture, Robots, Swearing, souls are a thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:34:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28391739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kwassoint/pseuds/kwassoint
Summary: A robot finds a disappointing end. His unusual companion isn't much help.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 1





	"I expected more from a robot mercenary"

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time posting on ao3, let alone the first time I made any of my writing public, so please be kind.  
> Also, English isn't my first language so please tell me if I made any mistakes :)

"Well, I didn't think it would end like this.", he said, floating around the tree the injured machine was leaning against.   
There was a strange staticky sound coming out of his damaged voice-modulator as he tried to say a snarky remark, struggling to do so with the coolant dripping out between the deep gashes on his faceplates.   
"You are a world-renowned robot mercenary and you get killed by a damn radioactive bear.", Death mocked, leaning on his scythe.  
He managed to get out a somewhat understandable "Can't you do anything?" to which the Grim Reaper responded with: "Do I look like a technician to you?"   
"You're so useless."  
"Hey, if you didn't have me, there would be a lot more angry souls constantly bothering you.", the Grim Reaper reasoned.  
"You are absolutely annoying. Come on, do me a favour and end it then.", the robot said, which made his undead companion laugh.  
"What?"  
"Nothing! Nothing. It's just that usually people beg me to NOT kill them.", he chuckled, "You really are a strange dude, Wall-E."  
"I already told you to stop calling me that!"  
"Yeah, yeah. Now stop moving so I can actually hit you."  
Death lifted his scythe high above his cloaked head and asked, "Any last words?"  
The robot coughed, more and more electricity lacing his words as he dryly told Death to "Fuck off."  
Suddenly, he brought down his weapon in one quick swing, lodging it so deep inside his skull that it ended up right between his ocular sensors, more coolant and oil flowing out between the blade and metal plates. After that, he settled down next to the corpse of his former companion and waited.  
Moments later, a strange wind rippled through the warped forest as the machine reappeared, more transparent this time and new glowing scars adorning his body.  
"I'll never get used to this shit. I hate not having legs.", he said, his voice now sounding less robotic and having an echo to it.  
"You say that every time, GLaDOS.", complained the Reaper, earning an exasperated sigh from the soul beside him.  
The Reaper, already having picked out the memory chip from the corpse, rose back to his original height and said: "Can you stop whining so we can get you so me new wheels?"  
The spirit was already floating in the direction of the nearest city.


End file.
